What I’d Tell My Younger Self: Goals Are Cute, But So Is Rest – Lessons on Growth, Burnout, Shoulds and Balance
Last Updated on May 22, 2025.
Your work should support your life, not hijack it. But let’s be real, finding that balance isn’t always easy. Between chasing goals, hitting deadlines and trying not to let your to-do list run your life, it’s easy to forget that you matter just as much as the work you do.
In this episode of So, It Depends, I’m reflecting on the lessons I wish I’d learned sooner about business, burnout and balance because, mija, waiting for the perfect time is just another way to stay stuck. This one’s personal. I wrote it on my 35th birthday, reflecting on over a decade in marketing, navigating perfectionism and learning how to get out of my own way.
If you’ve ever wondered…
- How do I stop overthinking and finally take action?
- Can I build a business without burning myself out?
- What does balance even look like when life is so busy?
- Is starting over really a failure or something else entirely?
- How can I create systems that support me (so I can actually rest)?
…then this episode is for you.
Listen to the episode here:
Topic: Mindset, Burnout, Balance
Length: 20 mins
Best for: Overthinkers, perfectionists, recovering hustle culture fans
Or keep reading for the full transcript!
Episode 2: Full Transcript
This transcript has been lightly edited for clarity and readability.
[INTRO]
If you’ve been waiting for the perfect time, spoiler, it doesn’t exist. I know, I know. We all think there’s going to be this magical moment where everything aligns, the timing is just right and all the doubts magically disappear. But mija, that moment? It’s not coming. And honestly, I spent years waiting for it, thinking I needed to have everything perfectly planned before the next step. Pero you know what? Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way and that’s something I’m finally doing now.
Today’s episode is a little different. It’s personal. I actually wrote this on my birthday. Picture this: 35 candles on the cake, over a decade working in marketing and enough late-night overthinking to write a whole novella. It felt like the right time to reflect on what I wish I’d known sooner about success, burnout and how to find some kind of balance along the way. Because let’s be real our younger selves had all these ideas about what success was supposed to look like: work hard, hustle non-stop, climb the ladder or build the ladder from scratch. I used to think if I pushed myself just a little more, I’d finally make it. But if I could sit down with younger Kristine over cafecito, I’d tell her: It doesn’t have to be that hard. You can work smarter, live better and stop stressing over every little detail. Not everything has to be a struggle.
Lesson 1: Business isn’t everything.
When I first started in marketing, especially during those early agency days, I was eager to dive in. I loved the fast pace, the variety of projects and honestly, there’s nothing quite like collaborating with a team that pushes you to think bigger and work smarter. I learned so much: how to juggle multiple clients, build strategies that make an impact and adapt quickly. Those experiences shaped me into the marketer I am today and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
But here’s the thing, I fully bought into the idea that the more I worked, the more successful I’d be. And a lot of our generation did. It was late nights, early mornings, weekends spent fine-tuning projects. I thought that was just part of the deal. And in some ways, it was. Agency life can be demanding but also rewarding. I thrived on the challenge, the fast turnarounds, the creativity demanded. But, I started to realize that working non-stop wasn’t the long-term plan I wanted for myself. It wasn’t the agency’s fault. It was how I was approaching my work. I thought being the go-to person meant always saying yes, never slowing down. Looking back, I can see I was putting that pressure on myself.
If I could talk to younger me, I’d say: Your career matters, but so do you. Working hard is one thing, but running yourself into the ground is another. I used to measure success by how many hours I worked. If I wasn’t busy, I felt like I was falling behind. But success isn’t about how packed your schedule is. it’s about the impact you make. And that includes how you take care of yourself along the way.
Honestly, part of my procrastination came from thinking: “How am I going to work on this between my nine-to-five, life errands, family stuff and just existing?” My plate felt full. The agency taught me how to be strategic for clients, but when it came to my own goals, I kept pushing them off. I’d tell myself I’d work on my business when things calmed down. News flash: Things never just calmed down. My business goals kept being pushed to “someday.” What changed was realizing that building something sustainable meant being intentional with the time I did have. It wasn’t about working less it was about working smarter.
You don’t need huge blocks of free time. It’s about using the pockets of time you already have. And a big part of that? Rest isn’t a setback, it’s fuel for the journey. Your health isn’t worth sacrificing for another unchecked box on your to-do list. That’s where things like web strategy and automation come in. They aren’t just industry buzzwords, they’re tools that let you breathe. Your website can handle inquiries, book calls and share valuable info while you’re out living your life. Imagine enjoying dinner with friends or let’s be real, binging your favorite TV show without worrying about missed opportunities. That kind of peace of mind? Game-changing.
And I won’t lie, time management wasn’t my only hesitation. Fear, overthinking, perfectionism… they were all in the mix. But the biggest lesson? Rest isn’t a setback. It’s fuel. Hustling until you hit a wall isn’t a badge of honor. You don’t have to choose between working hard and taking care of yourself. There’s a middle ground and it starts with how you structure your work. So yeah, your career is important. But you? You matter more. Hustle has its place, but it shouldn’t be your whole identity. Build systems that support you. Pace yourself. And please take the nap. The emails will still be there mañana. Burnout slows you down. Balance helps you build momentum.
Lesson 2: Balance isn’t perfect, but it’s necessary.
Balance always felt like one of those things people talk about like meal prepping every Sunday or becoming a super early morning person. Sounds nice, but was it happening for me back then? Not even close. I used to think: “I’ll rest when this project’s done.” But guess what? There’s always another project. Another deadline. Another thing pulling for your attention. That’s when I realized waiting for the work to slow down isn’t the answer. You have to decide to step back.
And let’s be honest, balance isn’t about perfectly dividing your time between work and life. It’s not a perfect 50/50 split. Sometimes you have to put in a late night to hit a deadline. Other times you should absolutely close your laptop at 5 p.m., grab some snacks and binge The Challenge. For a long time, I thought saying yes to everything made me dependable. I believed that constantly being available was just part of being successful. But all that really did? Stretch me too thin.
One thing that changed everything was finally giving myself permission to take a break without checking my phone every two minutes. I realized how much I’d been running on empty and funny enough, the work was still there when I came back. No emergencies. No disasters. Just me, better rested and actually ready to tackle things. I used to skip meals and tell myself: “Just get through this one deadline.” But there’s always another deadline. When I slowed down, something clicked: Rest isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity. My creativity came back. Ideas flowed easier. I wasn’t just working, I was enjoying my work again. Because you can’t pour from an empty cup, right?
Younger me thought success was about grinding 24/7. Current me knows it’s about working smart and giving yourself permission to rest. So yeah, take the walk. Watch the show. The world won’t fall apart if you close the laptop, I promise.
Lesson 3: Failure, perfectionism and data-driven growth.
Ah, failure and perfection, my old frenemies. For so long, I avoided failure like the plague. If it wasn’t perfect, I wouldn’t put it out there. I’d tweak endlessly and overthink to the point where projects I was excited about never even saw the light of day. I mean what if people noticed? Judged me? Thought I wasn’t good enough? Spoiler: People are too busy worrying about themselves.
Sometimes I talked myself out of things before I even started. Perfectionism felt like protection like if I got things exactly right, I could avoid criticism or worse, disappointment. It was that voice whispering: “Wait a little longer. Fix one more thing. Then you’ll be ready.” But the truth? That voice wasn’t protecting me. It was holding me back. Perfectionism is just fear in disguise. It’s that well-meaning titi who says: “Mija, just be careful before you do something bold.” Love her, but she’s not helping. And those warnings? They stick. Hello, anxiety.
I treated fear like the ultimate worst-case scenario as if messing up meant I wasn’t capable. But I’ve learned something important: Fear isn’t a reflection of your worth, it’s information. Launch a website and no one clicks a CTA? That’s data. Marketing campaign doesn’t land? Insight. Feedback like that isn’t personal, it’s a tool to help you adjust and improve. I’ve had launches flop, projects stall and yeah, it sucked. No sugarcoating that. But every single one taught me something valuable. Building a business is like website optimization no one gets it perfect on the first try. You tweak. Test. Panic when something breaks (because something will break). And then you improve.
Progress over perfection always. Looking back at why it took me so long to fully pursue my business, so much boiled down to fear: fear of failing, fear of judgment, fear that things wouldn’t meet my own (very high) standards. I’d spiral in “What if this doesn’t work?” but rarely asked “What if it does?” or “What if this leads me somewhere better?” Starting over used to terrify me. I thought it meant going back to square one. But you never really start from scratch. You bring every lesson. Every battle scar. Every receipt. That’s not failure; that’s growth.
When I finally took the leap to focus on my business, I wasn’t starting at zero: I had plenty of notes in my Evernote, a decade of agency experience, countless client projects and lessons learned from things that didn’t go perfectly. I just had to trust myself enough to apply what I already knew. You can’t improve what doesn’t exist. Done is better than perfect every time. Every time you put something out there, whether it’s a website, a post or an idea, you collect data. Feedback helps you adjust, tweak and move forward. Waiting for perfect only delays progress.
And let me be super real: fear doesn’t just vanish. I still get nervous before launching new things. The difference now? I don’t let fear decide for me. Courage isn’t about being fearless; it’s about moving with fear in the passenger seat. Even if your voice shakes. Even if you doubt yourself a little. If I could tell younger Kristine one thing: “You’re gonna mess up and that’s okay.” The goal isn’t perfection; it’s progress. Imperfect action has taken me further than overthinking ever did. So if you’re holding back, waiting until things feel ready, do it anyway. Flaws and all. Imperfect action moves you closer to your goals than standing still ever will. And fear? It’s not going anywhere and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to eliminate fear. It’s to grab its hand and walk anyway.
Lesson 4: Burnout doesn’t happen overnight.
Burnout doesn’t just show up one morning like, “Surprise! I’m here!” It’s one of those slow leaks, easy to ignore until suddenly you’re running on empty. I didn’t see it coming until: I couldn’t focus, couldn’t create and felt like I was dragging myself through the day. Ignoring the signs didn’t make it go away. If anything, it just made it worse.
I used to think exhaustion meant I was doing something right that being tired all the time meant I was working hard enough, hustling hard enough, proving myself enough. Spoiler: It didn’t. What I was really doing? Running myself into the ground. Treating burnout like it was just part of my personality. “Oh, that’s just how things are.” But it doesn’t have to be. Burnout is sneaky. It doesn’t hit you all at once.
I can’t tell you how many times I thought: “Just push through a little longer.” But there was always another deadline. Another thing demanding my attention. And then my creativity dried up. My anxiety flared. My brain felt foggy. I was making decisions slower, feeling overwhelmed by things that usually wouldn’t phase me. That’s when I realized: This isn’t normal and it’s definitely not sustainable.
Burnout was another big reason I procrastinated on my business for so long. I kept thinking: “If I can barely handle the workload now, how am I supposed to add more?” But here’s what I didn’t realize back then: Burnout isn’t about doing too much. It’s about doing too much without the right systems or boundaries. Overworking isn’t the solution; it’s a sign that something needs to change.
For me, that meant integrating wellness into how I worked. And no, I don’t just mean bubble baths and green juices (unless that’s your thing. no judgment). I mean setting up systems that support me so I can rest without guilt: having a website handle bookings or client inquiries while I’m grabbing dinner with friends, knowing things can move without me hovering over my laptop. That kind of peace of mind? I wish younger me knew it was possible.
It also meant redefining what productivity looks like. Rest is part of the plan now, not an afterthought. It’s like SEO. You don’t just “set it and forget it.” You nurture it. Check in. Make adjustments. Your well-being deserves the same care. Because here’s the thing: if you’re always running on empty, you can’t fully show up for your clients, your goals or yourself.
To younger me and maybe to you, if you need to hear it, burnout isn’t a badge of honor. Take the nap. Go for the walk. Watch the show. Your energy, your creativity, your peace of mind, that’s precious. Protect it.
Lesson 5: The weight of “should.”
You ever catch yourself thinking: “I should be further along.” “I should be doing more.” “I should have it all figured out by now.” Yeah. The power of should is sneaky. It can lift you up when it pushes you to improve, but it can easily tear you down when it becomes an impossible standard.
I spent a lot of time living by shoulds: “I should be working harder.” “I should always be available.” “I should have everything perfectly planned.” But living like that kept me stuck. I second-guessed my choices. Hesitated to rest. Constantly felt like I wasn’t doing enough.
Here’s what I’ve learned: Not every “should” deserves your energy. Some are rooted in outdated expectations, comparison or the fear of letting people down. But chasing every should? That’ll run you straight into exhaustion. Just because something feels like an expectation doesn’t mean it’s yours to carry.
It took me a while to figure that out, so if you find yourself weighed down by shoulds, take a breath and ask yourself: Whose expectation is this? Does this “should” align with my actual goals or just what I think I’m supposed to do? Is this lifting me up or holding me back? Because should isn’t a strategy. It’s a trap. Focus on what moves you forward, not what makes you feel guilty. Your energy is too valuable to waste on expectations that don’t belong to you.
And mija, let me tell you something I wish I realized sooner: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Let me say it louder for the people in the back: Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
What I’d Tell Younger Kristine:
If I could sit across from younger Kristine, cafecito in hand, I’d tell her: “You don’t have to do it all. Focus on what moves the needle. I know you think staying busy means you’re productive, but not everything needs your attention. Prioritize what matters. Let the rest go.”
Resting isn’t quitting, it’s part of growth. Rest isn’t a reward, it’s fuel.
Perfectionism isn’t the goal, progress is. You’ll never get it all just right and that’s okay. Done is better than perfect. Every imperfect step moves you forward. Standing still is what keeps you stuck.
Every failure is just data, use it. Those moments that feel like setbacks? They’re just information,lessons that’ll guide you further than you can imagine right now.
Your worth has never and will never, be tied to how much you can get done. You are enough, regardless of what’s checked off your to-do list. Let that sink in.
And mija, just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. I know you want to say yes to everything, but not every opportunity is meant for you. Protect your peace.
These lessons are why I’m finally giving myself permission to go all in this year. No more waiting for the perfect time. No more holding back. I’ve spent too long doubting myself, second-guessing every move and honestly, getting in my own way.
But now? I’m betting on myself. Younger me wouldn’t believe it, but I know she’d be proud. Turning 35 feels like choosing alignment over just checking boxes. Because really, what’s the point of building a career if it drains you? Your work should support your life, not hijack it.
I spent so much time thinking success meant doing more, working harder, pushing through. But the real win? Embracing imperfect action, building something sustainable, creating a life that doesn’t come at the cost of your well-being. I found a rhythm that works for me. And that’s what I want for you, too.
If you take one thing from today’s episode: Starting over isn’t starting from scratch, it’s starting from experience. You bring lessons, receipts, growth, everything that makes you wiser the second (or third) time around. Lean into that, mija.
I’m still learning to slow down, to rest without guilt. And honestly? It’s one of the best decisions I’ve made for myself. Wherever you are on your journey, whether you’re just starting, starting over or somewhere in between, I hope you know: You’re not alone in figuring it out.
Starting over isn’t failure. It’s applying what you’ve learned to move forward smarter. Whether you’re refreshing a website, shifting your business model or simply making more time to rest, trust that your experience has prepared you for this moment.
So, take the walk. Close the laptop. And remember: You’re allowed to build something that supports you.
Thank you so much for tuning into this reflective episode. I hope it gave you something to think about, whether it’s how you view failure, perfectionism or how you balance work and life. Gracias for being here, for celebrating my birthday reflection with me and most importantly, for showing up for yourself today.
[OUTRO]
Key Takeaways from This Episode
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The perfect time doesn’t exist. Waiting for everything to align only delays progress. Start where you are, with what you have.
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Rest isn’t a setback; it’s fuel. Hustling nonstop isn’t sustainable. Prioritize rest to regain creativity, clarity and momentum.
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Progress over perfection. Imperfect action moves you forward faster than overthinking ever will. Done is better than perfect.
-
Burnout is a slow leak; don’t ignore the signs. Your well-being matters as much as your goals. Build systems that support you and set boundaries to protect your energy.
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Not every “should” deserves your attention. Focus on what aligns with your goals, not what external expectations tell you to do.
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Starting over isn’t starting from scratch. You bring experience, lessons and growth into every new chapter, use that to your advantage.
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Protect your peace. Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should. Prioritize what truly matters.
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Your work should support your life, not hijack it. Build sustainable systems, honor your boundaries and create space for balance.
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Fear will always be there; move with it anyway. Courage is about taking action even when you’re scared.
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You are enough. Your worth isn’t tied to your productivity or how much you get done.
FAQ
How do I stop waiting for the perfect time to start something?
Remind yourself that perfect is a moving target and usually just a sneaky way to procrastinate. Start small, messy and honest. That first draft, soft launch or tiny test? It counts. You don’t need a master plan. You need momentum.
I feel like I “should” be further along. How do I stop comparing myself?
Whew. The “shoulds” are heavy, right? Pause and ask: Whose timeline am I following? Yours or someone else’s? Instead of chasing what looks right, focus on what feels right. You’re not behind, you’re building something with intention. That matters more than hitting some invisible milestone.
How do I know if I’m just tired… or actually burnt out?
Here’s the real talk: tired gets better with rest. Burnout doesn’t. If you’re feeling foggy, snappy or uninspired even after taking breaks, it might be burnout. That’s your cue to pause, reassess and build systems (like automations, boundaries or support) that give you breathing room
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Got a question or aha moment? DM me @kristineiza — I’d love to hear from you.
